Is Your Persona Holding You Back From Love?
Why People Avoid The Truth In Relationships
Do You Believe What You See In Your Love Life?
Dating Discomfort Is Leading You To Love.
Stop Focusing On “Blocks” To Love So You Can Really Find Your Partner
They Laughed At My Dreams, But I Didn’t Let That Stop Me.
Is The Crumb-Grabber In You Controlling Your Love Life?
Why People Lie In Relationships
Should A Woman Pursue A Man If He Doesn’t Call?
Do You Draw Your Self-Esteem From Others?
There Are No Mistakes In True Love
What Stops You From Being Your Best?
The Treasure In Obstacles On Your Path To Love
What I Want In A Man
Can A Middle-Aged White Guy Be A Feminist?
This is What Dating an Alcoholic is Like
Taking the Guesswork Out of Sober Dating
Sex and the Sober Girl
Posted by gromm on February 15, 2011 at 3:15 PM · Report
10
Do plants really feel pain? I don't think you understand evolution.
Posted by DirtyYoungExec on February 16, 2011 at 6:55 AM · Report
11
Ugh what is with these people insisting Matisse is using "evolution" incorrectly? Her point is that people THINK it's evolution, but it's really not.
Posted by Belle Starr on February 16, 2011 at 8:48 AM · Report
Unregistered Comment on February 16, 2011 at 9:39 AM12
secretagent13
This isn't about a relationship "evolving" into poly. It's about a *person* becoming poly. A better way to state this would be: don't start monogamous with a monogamous person and trust that poly is the way it will end up.
If someone isn't already poly, the transition will be painful, whenever they decide to do it. Only do monogamy with a monogamous person if you're cool with the very real possibility you'll always be mono.
Posted by secretagent on February 18, 2011 at 3:09 PM · Report
14
The thing that's not really mentioned here is that the partner who says they're interested in polyamory in theory/eventually, but suggests that you start out monogamous and see how things go, is really not interested in nonmonogamy, and is just pretending they'd be willing to try it at some point, or fooling themselves into thinking they would, to appease the other person or seem more sophisticated or some such crap... so you get tricked into forming a relationship with someone who you thought was like-minded but actually isn't.
Man, that was a long sentence. Sorry.
Anyway, point being, it's an annoying situation to find yourself in, especially if you only realize it once you're past the point where you can do anything about it without resorting to doing what Matisse describes and potentially breaking up your relationship.
Posted by waffre on February 21, 2011 at 10:58 AM · Report
ron_in_PDX15
Why People Avoid The Truth In Relationships
Do You Believe What You See In Your Love Life?
Dating Discomfort Is Leading You To Love.
Stop Focusing On “Blocks” To Love So You Can Really Find Your Partner
They Laughed At My Dreams, But I Didn’t Let That Stop Me.
Is The Crumb-Grabber In You Controlling Your Love Life?
Why People Lie In Relationships
Should A Woman Pursue A Man If He Doesn’t Call?
Do You Draw Your Self-Esteem From Others?
There Are No Mistakes In True Love
What Stops You From Being Your Best?
The Treasure In Obstacles On Your Path To Love
What I Want In A Man
Can A Middle-Aged White Guy Be A Feminist?
This is What Dating an Alcoholic is Like
Taking the Guesswork Out of Sober Dating
Sex and the Sober Girl
Posted by gromm on February 15, 2011 at 3:15 PM · Report
10
Do plants really feel pain? I don't think you understand evolution.
Posted by DirtyYoungExec on February 16, 2011 at 6:55 AM · Report
11
Ugh what is with these people insisting Matisse is using "evolution" incorrectly? Her point is that people THINK it's evolution, but it's really not.
Posted by Belle Starr on February 16, 2011 at 8:48 AM · Report
Unregistered Comment on February 16, 2011 at 9:39 AM12
secretagent13
This isn't about a relationship "evolving" into poly. It's about a *person* becoming poly. A better way to state this would be: don't start monogamous with a monogamous person and trust that poly is the way it will end up.
If someone isn't already poly, the transition will be painful, whenever they decide to do it. Only do monogamy with a monogamous person if you're cool with the very real possibility you'll always be mono.
Posted by secretagent on February 18, 2011 at 3:09 PM · Report
14
The thing that's not really mentioned here is that the partner who says they're interested in polyamory in theory/eventually, but suggests that you start out monogamous and see how things go, is really not interested in nonmonogamy, and is just pretending they'd be willing to try it at some point, or fooling themselves into thinking they would, to appease the other person or seem more sophisticated or some such crap... so you get tricked into forming a relationship with someone who you thought was like-minded but actually isn't.
Man, that was a long sentence. Sorry.
Anyway, point being, it's an annoying situation to find yourself in, especially if you only realize it once you're past the point where you can do anything about it without resorting to doing what Matisse describes and potentially breaking up your relationship.
Posted by waffre on February 21, 2011 at 10:58 AM · Report
ron_in_PDX15